Social Web Antisocial World
The big trend at the moment on the internet is ‘social’. Everything has to be social: social networks, social applications, social games, etc. It seems like if something is not social then it’s not important at the moment. I must say I really like all these new tools and services that can connect me to all my friends, friends of friends, acquaintances and trusted sources like twitter, facebook, friendfeed, youtube, linkedin and many many more.
For some people it seems the most important thing to have as many friends as possible on these social websites. Thus showing everybody else that they are very much liked by people and also confirming this to themselves. It really seems like an ego booster to many people to have many friends.
I don’t really care about this kind of behavior and I’m probably as much guilty to this trend as well. The thing is that I see a very big difference in the number of people that are social on the web and social in real life. Online everybody seems to be socially available and ready to say what needs to be said. But in real life…
Real life is so much different. For the last week I did an experiment where I would look everybody in the eyes when I walked by and if they gave me as little as a glimpse I would say ‘hi!’ and smile. A very simple gesture of social decency. I counted and kept track:
- I looked 76 people in the eye, smiled and said hi
- 17 people looked away immediately when they noticed I contacted them
- 38 people looked at me and just nodded and sometime mumbled something.
- Only 21 people really looked, noticed me and said hi
Just to take a way some critics: I wish to believe that I’m not a scary person and that I look very ‘open’ to start a conversation with. I also believe I don’t possess such ugly physical characteristics that people can’t bare to look at me.
All in all I was really amazed at the small number of people who are social enough to at least say hi back. I wonder if some of the people who looked away from me are the same people who have hundreds of online friends.
What is your experience?
Hello Jorg,
Nice experiment. These are the tests to give you an insight into first impressions. I still remember the first impression you gave me. You are a fanatic sportsman and have the looks of a security guard. But if you are not guarding a door, what does that make you in a first impression?
I don’t think you are an ugly guy (however tasted can be argued with
but take into account the setting. Try your experiment again on a warm summer evening at a beach party in stead of on a busy work-day.
Anyway, making friends online is safe and relatively without consequences (for now). When online identities are to take the upper hand in social interarctions, I think people will also be more selective in who the connect to.
Did you have a holidat planned? I am looking forward to new experimental results….
Thanks for the comment! In a week I leave for wintersport, I will repeat my experiment over there…